How To Help A Baby Sleep Through The Night

    How To Help A Baby Sleep Through The Night

For newborns and older babies who wake during the night

 
 The first few precious months of your baby's life are magical yet absolutely exhausting. There's no words to describe how tough it is take care of a baby and yourself when neither one of you are getting enough sleep. The important thing to remember is that this phase doesn't last long and with enough perseverance and patience they will be sleeping through the night in no time. These are my tips from my own first hand experience as a mum to a young baby. All are tried and true methods that's worked for me but bare in mind all babies are different and what works for one may not work for another.

Bath-Bottle-Bed Routine.

Babies and children thrive on routines. This is the most important thing I'd recommend. If you haven't started a bed time routine it can be the best thing you do. It establishes a great routine where they know when its bed time and what to expect. The bath makes for the perfect wind down from all the exciting things they've been doing that day and is also their first trigger for the night. You'll start to notice after a few days-week they'll yawn and rub their eyes when in the bath as it signals for them that its close to bed time and their internal clock sets in when done around the same time each day. Whether its a calm and soothing bath for younger babies or a more lively, splashing, fun time for older babies, its about establishing with them to know when its their bed time. Once they've finished their bath and are dried and dressed they'll need feeding beginning the bottle part of this routine. For younger babies you will have to feed them their bottle yourself or breast feed and then carefully put them to bed. They more often then not will fall asleep on you as their feeding. For older babies you can simply place them in their cot with their bottle and let them feed themselves. I'd recommend pumping for their last bottle if your breast feeding so its easier to transfer older babies to their bed and if co sleeping find it hard to get out of the bed and leave the room without disturbing them. If this hasn't disturbed your baby before then you won't need to take that step. 

Create the right environment

Make sure to set the room and prepare your baby's bottle before hand. That way once they're out you don't have to worry about running around looking for stuff with a wet baby who's trying to roll off the bed! Its best to dim the room your dressing them in and where they'll be sleeping so that you have just enough light to see what your doing. Fairy lights are very good for this or a small lamp. Set up the essentials i.e nappy, nappy rash cream, moisturizer and clothes on the bed so that everything you need is ready to hand. Make their bottle and have it ready next to the bed where you'll be dressing them so you can easily grab it. Their nighttime bottle should be their biggest one of the day. The more they take in the longer they'll sleep in my experience. Take care to put away any noisy toys in the room and clear the floor area before you start.

Its all about creating the right environment for your baby to sleep in. We all know that mum that saids their baby can sleep anywhere but yours may need a bit more assistance and that's normal. The perfect scenario is a nice long relaxing bath, then into a warm ,quiet, dimly lit room and into soft clothing followed by a big warm bottle of milk/breastfeeding and into their comfy bed wrapped up in a snugly blanket with their favorite teddy and finally a kiss goodnight. Babies love warm rooms and sleep much better in a warm room. The theme of everything is warmth. Warm bath, room, clothes, bottle, bed and blankets. Obviously don't over heat the room or that's as bad as too cold.

You could try playing soft music or white noise for them. Anxious babies can find that soothing. You could also try a night light but personally when iv done a night light my daughter just wanted to play with it as the lights and noise keep her up so I feel its best to have a dark warm room that they're not thinking is for playing in. Every baby is different though so its worth a go as it may help yours.

Don't leave any light up toys or ones that make noise when pressed in their cot as that will keep them up playing instead of sleeping and can wake them in the night if they toss and turn in their sleep.

Once in bed with their bottle and hopefully already falling to sleep, gently close the bedroom door and make sure to turn down volume on any music or the TV in the next room. Be aware that if your being loud next door they won't want to go to sleep cause they think your doing something far more exciting and will cry for you to get them so they can join you. You also risk waking them up if their already asleep. It's best to keep the room closest to them as quiet as possible.

You will need to establish night and day. Day time is for lots of noise and is bright. Night time is quiet and dark. Newborns have their night and day mixed up so its very common for babies to sleep all day and be up all night. This is believed to be because while your pregnant you lullaby them to sleep during the day when your moving and then wake them up at night when the moving stops as you sleep. It certainly explains why my daughter would kick like crazy as soon as I laid down at night! 

Quiet time

They need quiet time the last 30 minuets - hour before their bed time routine begins simply because you can't expect a baby who's been playing in a brightly lit room with noisy toys/TV/loud people to all of a sudden go to sleep when they're so excited. Especially for the older walking babies who have been running around. They've been very stimulated and need time to calm down and reflect on the day before sleeping. This applies for older children too.

Reading to them, quietly singing nursery rhymes, playing with soft toys like stuffed animals, going for a walk, all of these are great calming ideas of what you can do with them before bed time routine begins. Using a soft and quiet voice when talking to them will reassure them that they're safe and loved which helps calm them down. Older babies can be tickled and played with still but limit the throwing around and up in the air. Theres plenty of time in the day for rough and tumble play so leave the last hour before bed for more calming games (this particularly applies to dads).

For weaning babies that are over 6 months old feeding them their dinner is also a good thing to do around an hour before their bath. You could do it right before their bath so that when their finished you can put them straight in if they get messy but they may be too full for their night time bottle which is crucial for most babies to full asleep with so bare that in mind.

Timings

Most babies would need to have been awake for at least 2 hours before they're ready to sleep again so as a guide try not to let your baby sleep too close to their bedtime and adjust their naps accordingly. For example if you want to bath your baby at 7pm so that they can be in bed and asleep by 7.30pm then they shouldn't nap past 5pm. This is just a rule to make sure your baby will be tired enough for bed. If they're still asleep napping at 6pm then they will mostly likely not be tired and ready for bed in an hour & half's time. This isn't me saying don't let them sleep because its vital babies nap but just be aware of when they sleep.

I would recommend to try to average around 20 minuets each bath. Of course some days may only be 10mins (especially if they poo in the bath!) but the longer they're in there the more tired they'll be.

Remember this is a routine not a schedule so its ok to be a little late or earlier than usual. You don't have to be strict about it or stress yourself out. This routine is a tool to help you and your baby get more sleep but also to take the stress out of everything. The last hour or so before bed usually is the most stressful because your baby is irritable after a long day. This helps give you and your baby something to do and preoccupy them. You don't have to worry about finding ways to entertain them because you know this routine has that all planned out for you and once your both getting more sleep the better you'll feel.

Napping

Babies should on average have 2 naps a day. Some have 3 and some only have 1 and that's perfectly ok too. It depends on they're age as newborns spend most of their time asleep while babies start to drop naps as they get older. Most babies will have a late morning-early afternoon nap and then a late afternoon-early evening nap depending on when they first woke up for the day.

For example they wake at 8am, have their first nap at 11am, wake at 1pm, have their last nap at 4pm, wake at 5pm, go to bed for 7pm.

That example of course will be different based on if your baby needs more or less naps and the timings on when they wake and go to bed. Iv found the earlier you put them to bed for the night the earlier they wake so if you don't want to start your day too early then bare that in mind and maybe not start their bed time at 5.30pm unless your an early bird. Having naps during the day is essential for baby's. Iv heard people being told to not let them nap and keep them up all day so that in theory they'll be so tired they'll sleep at night. Unfortunately that isn't good advice. Others mean well when they say this but most likely didn't experience it for themselves. Babies actually won't sleep properly through the night if they're not getting enough sleep during the day. Have you ever been so over tired and exhausted that you couldn't actually go to sleep? Every mum has experienced at some point or another their child being over tired because they was out for the day and their baby missed a nap. All those mothers will tell you how horrible it is to miss a nap because your baby will become so upset and irritable they'll throw tantrums, scream, cry, kick, punch, lay down and refuse to move wherever they are until they can actually sleep because being over tired is so upsetting for them. Being over tired not only makes them unhappy but can actually make them feel sick too and like us, babies will struggle to sleep if their not feeling ok. Have you ever heard the expression "don't wake a sleeping baby"? Well its very true and that is what I would say to those that advise you to upset your baby thus ultimately upsetting you.

What Works For Me - Controlled Crying

I have done this since my baby was sleeping in her own room at 9 weeks old and we had instant success with it. We didn't know a name for it at the time and iv since learned this is what professionals call it. Controlled crying does work and is very different from when people tell you to ignore and leave your baby to cry during the day encase you make your baby too clingy. This isn't damaging for your baby and they are not going to feel abandoned. You usually set a time limit on how long you will leave them to self soothe before assisting them.

What you do is once your baby is in bed (ideally after completing their bath-bottle-bed routine) you don't go back in unless you know somethings wrong and they need you for a serious reason. If you have gone through the bath bottle bed routine you will know they've had everything they need. They have a clean nappy on, been given teething gel if teething and are not hungry because theyre happily drinking their bottle/finished breastfeeding, you know they are safe and you feel secure in leaving them. They might cry for your attention in hopes you'll come pick them up especially if up until this point you've never let them cry and settle themselves before.

This isn't ignoring your child's cries. You know your baby's cries and if after 10 minuets you feel in your heart that somethings wrong then you should go back in. They could have done a poo or banged their head if standing up crying so there are always exceptions to the rule. Theres no restrictions on how you can reassure your baby. If they need a cuddle, kiss, loving words and rocking then you do that. This is simply allowing your baby to learn to self soothe NOT ignoring your baby's needs or allowing them to suffer whatsoever.

In the beginning it can feel heartbreaking and unnatural. You can feel like your going against your instincts. I completely understand because every time Isabelle cried in the beginning so did I too...Thanks hormones :) No parent wants to hear their child cry or see them upset but just like tantrums you can't always give in to it. Short term this can be emotionally tough but in the long run you will be so thankful you persevered. The great thing about it is the time it takes for them to fall asleep on their own gets shorter every time you do it. As time goes on they won't want to fight their sleep anymore. The first week you try it can start with them crying for up to 40 minuets but then the next night 30, next night 20, 15, 10 and finally 6th night within 5 minuets of putting them down they will be asleep. Say its a bad night and it takes them crying for 20 minuets, I feel it's worth it to listen to maybe 20 minuets of crying when you know in just 20 minuets time they'll be asleep and you will have the rest of the night to yourself AND can actually get some sleep too! If you think about it logically you will listen to them cry and can be up with a screaming baby all night anyway even when giving in and trying to pacify them because sometimes theres nothing you can do to settle them so why torture yourself. If more mothers had the strength of heart to do this you wouldn't hear of half as many mums still sharing their beds with 5 year olds.

Sleep Training

There is 3 methods the Ferber-Cry It Out, Pantley- No Tears and The Fading Approach.

Ferber is very similar to controlled crying where you allow your baby to self soothe however it is within short time periods that gradually become longer over time.

No Tears is self explanatory where you don't allow your child to cry. This is a very loving yet exhausting approach. This feels more natural and instinctual to us mums. It can take a long time to work but if your prepared to sacrifice sleep sooner so you don't listen to crying then it'll work better for you. I've been there though where I've done everything within my power to help calm my baby down and nothings worked. If you have a baby that can't always be soothed I wouldn't recommend this to you.

Fading is a mix of the two. You have timed check in's on your baby. Verbal reassurance is allowed while physical is kept to a minimum. It's a good alternative in my opinion that's not as emotionally hard as Cry It Out. Your baby will learn to self soothe while also having reassurance when needed. This may take longer then CIO though as after you've reassured them and left the room again, your baby can become hysterical every time you leave through out the night ultimately making you come back again and again. You may feel you can't leave them at all and not actually get any sleep. However there is the possibility that your baby feels reassured and falls asleep soon. Its one you will have to try to know if it works for your baby.

Ultimately every method needs perseverance, patience and love. There is no easy route. Some are more effective than others and what works for one baby will not for another. I suggest following your gut and do what feels more natural for you. You know your baby's needs best.

Babies who used to sleep but wake in the night

You may be thinking why is my baby waking several times in the night now when they used to sleep all night through for months? Well there are lots of things that can cause this. Teething can be the main culprit. When your woken by the sound of their crying it can be upsetting but stay calm. Take a deep breath and remember this won't last for long. Teething can disrupt babies sleep if they are in pain so rubbing some teething gel on their gums before giving them a bottle can help them drift back off. I would do this every time they wake in the night from the first signs of teething.

For those bottle feeding try making them a bottle. Give them a cuddle to calm them down and quickly check their nappy in the process. Change their nappy if needed then give them their bottle in the cot or wherever they usually sleep. The whole time remain silent or if you'd like whisper reassuring words. Don't turn on the lights unless nappy needs to be changed but then use either side lamp or fairy lights so that it remains dim. Turn lights off as you quietly leave the room. They should fall back to sleep while sucking their bottle in the dark.

Breast feeding mums its the same in give them a cuddle to calm down while staying silent/whisper. Then breast feed where's most comfortable for you after checking nappy. If your co sleeping they should be able to go straight back to sleep in bed with you otherwise carefully carry them back to their cot. If your baby's old enough that they can hold a bottle on their own and don't co sleep, I would recommend pumping so that during the night you can have a chance to fall back to sleep yourself and let them feed themselves their bottle in their own cot without disturbing you.

Pain Relief can be used if you know somethings wrong with your baby and it is affecting their sleep. If you think their in pain and/or are sick then you can give them baby paracetamol and baby nurofen. Always check with your health care professional first such as your doctor or midwife. Some pharmacies can give baby paracetamol FREE so check before buying! Always read the instructions for the right dose for your baby's age or weight.

Sometimes we as parents (especially mums) are very sensitive to our babies cries and at the first sound well jump out of bed all guns blazing ready for action. We can hear babies cries from rooms away, its just our super power but wait a moment. Sometimes we act too quickly and actually if we'd of left it 5 minuets they might have gone back to sleep on their own. Babies naturally toss and turn in their sleep. They dream just like us and can cry out, make noises, bang on their cot bars all the while changing to a more comfortable position. They eventually go back to sleep on their own if you give them half the chance. Sometimes it can take 20 minuets of on-off cries or crashing about for them to settle themselves back to sleep. You know your baby's cry as to whether its serious and they actually need you or are just making a half bothered attempt at calling you while they get comfy again. Check the time when they first wake you up and keep checking how long its been if you think its not serious. You'd be surprised at what feels like 20 minuets of crying has actually only been 2!

Parents with a car have probably tried the trick of putting your baby in the car and driving round the block till they fall asleep. I've tried this myself and experienced a couple of problems with this idea. 1 You may need to keep driving round and around again for a LONG time which can be expensive in petrol and also make you look slightly suspicious to your neighbours. 2 As soon as you stop the car or try to bring baby back into the house they usually wake up again anyway. 3 You'll be more likely to have an accident. You will probably try this out of sheer desperation because you are SO tired that in your sleep deprived mind it makes sense that if they've slept in the car before, they will do it again tonight but have caution because driving when at that level of exhaustion is incredibly dangerous for you, your baby and other drivers.

Dream Feeding

This is where you feed your baby a bottle in their sleep. This can help with babies who wake in the night. If your baby's been asleep for a few hours and you know they'll probably wake soon you can feed them the bottle and it can fill up their stomach so that they don't wake up in the middle of the night hungry needing a feed. You basically feed it to them before they have the chance to register their hungry and wake up because of it. Dream feeding right before you want to go asleep yourself can give you a chance of having an uninterrupted nights sleep. Your baby could still wake for another feed again later and this doesn't prevent other factors waking your baby i.e needing a nappy change or teething etc. This might just buy you another couple of hours sleep though so worth trying.

Newborn Tips

 

If your newborn won't sleep anywhere else but on you then try these:
1. Try placing little one on a beanbag that's been smushed in the center so that the sides are higher than the middle. This can create the feeling of being held for your baby so if your having trouble putting them down because they won't nap or settle anywhere else but in your arms this can be a handy trick. Swaddle your baby up nice and tight first, then gently place them onto the beanbag and slowly move your arms out from under them. Magic. 

2. Sleepyhead Pod and Cocoons are brilliant if you can afford it. They're quite expensive but if you've got the money its totally worth it. I personally couldn't afford one but seriously wish I could of because Iv heard nothing but good things about them. They can make your baby feel secure like in the womb.  *A much cheaper trick that has the same affect is to just place a blanket that's been rolled into a U shape under their cot sheet BUT this increases the chance of SIDS and cot death so be aware of the risks. 

3. Sling/Baby Wearing is a trick us mums have been doing since the dawn of time and for very good reason. Your baby sleeps much better when close to you, listening to your heart beat, smelling your scent and being swayed/rocked. This gives your baby all those same feelings of being held but your actually hands free! Hallelujah! You can finally get something done instead of being confined to the sofa with a baby all over you.

4. Invest in a Swing/Bouncer/Rocker. Some newborns need the motion to fall asleep so these can be lifesavers! Save your arms and back the aching. You can even get electric ones that swing baby for you. 

5. Zip up swaddles can be excellent for helping babies sleep through the night as they feel safe and secure being snuggled up tight. Your baby can't break out either as they move around in their sleep so always feel warm and secure. They're not expensive either so worth trying out.

(Note* Never leave a baby alone to sleep over night in anything over then a moses basket/cot/co-sleeping bed)



I hope you and your little one gets some quality sleep very soon and that I had some good advise for you. Hopefully at least one of my recommendations can be helpful. Comment if this has helped you. Let me know if you've tried any of these techniques and please share whats working for you to help other mums :)


Jess x